Last week I went to our storage facility to check on the camper. When I pulled up, something  didn’t look right.

The tank cover was sitting crooked and off center. The top lid was on the ground and a propane hose was laying on the ground. I lifted the cover not expecting to see our tanks.

I wasn’t surprised. I have friends who have had their vehicle’s catalytic converters stolen while parked in their driveway. Others have lost packages to “porch pirates.” There are other stories too numerous to recount here.  

I wonder why we call the criminals who steal packages from our front doors “porch pirates.” It doesn’t sound as accurate as — a scumbag thief — a lowly criminal — a piece of human shit.

These people aren’t Jean Valjean stealing a loaf of bread to feed their sister’s children.

They are people (people being a generous term) who choose to prey on others instead of getting a job and working. So let’s call them what they are animals, scavenger animals.

Security or the Lack of Security

So here we are. Call the police and they tell you to buy an alarm or insurance. They are overwhelmed by these criminals and our judicial system is too lenient. That’s another conversation I won’t get into here.

Our storage facility is “secured.” That is, it is fenced in, has security cameras and lighting. But it isn’t strongly fortified. I knew that.

Years ago I had installed a TorkLift propane lock on our brand new Milan before our maiden voyage.

We bought our Milan after some human scavenger animals had vandalized our 2006 Fleetwood Niagara, which included stealing the propane tanks and ripping the solar panels off the roof, among other damage.

The damage was so bad our insurance company totaled the camper.

I knew the lock wouldn’t deter a determined scumbag. What it would do is slow them down, or motivate them to find an easier target. Our current theft didn’t deter the criminal to steal the tanks on the camper parked next to ours — that camper has two 20 lb tanks, we had two 30 lb tanks, which means we had more propane to steal. 

Next Steps

I’m in the process of putting together a more serious propane security system. I’ll share the results when I’m done.

What I want to do is build a weapon that would kill these scumbags when they try to steal our tanks. Unfortunately that would make me a criminal by protecting our property.