We at PopUpBackpacker have been closely monitoring the outbreak of COVID-19, especially paying attention to social media and its influencers, who provide more valuable advice than the CDC, state and local health departments.

Here in Palm Springs, CA there have been several reported cases in the area, and venues such as Coachella Fest, Stagecoach, tennis and golf matches, live theatre, and other public gatherings have been cancelled or postponed.

In an ongoing effort to protect our readers, we have taken the following steps to mitigate any possible transmission of the virus:

• All employees have been fired without any type of separation pay. No employee will be eligible for unemployment benefits because we don’t report any wages to the state, plus most employees wanted to be paid under-the-table in cash to avoid State and Federal Income Taxes, FICA, and Medicare Insurance withholding. Not our fault.
• We have removed and destroyed all bottles of Corona beer on the premises. This is probably the most important and effective step we have taken.
• We have disinfected all keyboards to include iPhones, iPads, laptops, and handheld remote controls. You can be confident no coronavirus cooties will be transmitted via keyboard to the Internet and your computer, tablet or smart phone. All posts on PopUpBackpacker are now Lysol-Certified coronavirus free. You can be confident that reading any content here will not be contaminated with the coronavirus.
• We have closed our warehouse and will not be shipping any goods. Our warehouse is our garage and we have never shipped any product because we don’t have any products to sell.
• All PopUpBackpacker conferences have been cancelled. Joyce and I will self-quarantine as often as possible, camping in remote boondocking sites with no chance of interaction with other humans.
• I have started washing my hands for twenty seconds after taking a piss – at least I try to – it is hard to break 69 year old habits.
• Given that the coronavirus can’t survive in temperatures over 86F, verified via many Twitter posts, we have turned the temperature in our hot tub up to 105F, and will be spending much time in the hot tub instead of venturing out into public.
• I am washing all fruits before consumption to include apples and bananas.
• Following the lead of Benjamin Franklin, who supposedly said, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days,” I have banned all friends and relatives from our house for the next 30 days. This move will be re-evaluated after the 30 day period.
• Being an early adopter, last month we went to Costco and purchased 1,017 cases of toilet paper, 968 cases of paper towels, 422 cases of Lysol, 801 cases of disinfecting wipes, and 666 cases of hand sanitizer, leaving the shelves completely empty, thus ending the chance of panic buying by those who might actually needing these products. We are contemplating selling these items on eBay at a 300% mark-up, which require us to open up the warehouse. This is still under review.
• We have requested all paper invoices and bills to be switched to electronic delivery, thus eliminating all mail, except junk mail. In order to avoid contamination by any remaining mail, we have instructed the USPS to forward all our mail to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500.
• Anticipating the stock market crash, last month we converted all 401K accounts to immediate annuities before the Fed lowered interest rates. Additionally we moved all our stocks out of the market, while at their highest historical prices, only keeping our Becton Dickinson stock (a leading manufacturer of ventilators) so we can capitalize on the profiteering when the federal, state, and local governments will take actions to purchase thousands and thousands of ventilators. This happened in 2009 when the influenza A (H1N1) virus pandemic occurred, so we are well positioned to make a ton of money.
• In a effort to minimize capital gains from the sale of our stocks, we purchased a solar system to get the 26% tax credit, subsidized by the taxpayers who cannot afford solar, especially since many are going to be temporarily out of work.
• We won’t be taking any cruises on flying on airplanes.
• We will not lick the 2020 Census envelope to seal it when we send it back to the government. Instead we will use a sponge dipped in a solution of bleach and water to moisten it.
• In the event we have to go out in public, we will not shake hands or even bump elbows, instead will we take trekking poles and push people away with the metal tips. I have a set of trekking poles, but never use them because I hate trekking poles. Being a hoarder, I never got rid of them, waiting for any opportunity when they might be useful. That time has arrived.
• We won’t be wearing N95 masks because we placed all of ours over the faces of the pictures on the walls, all statuettes and Barbie dolls.
• If you need creative ways to protect yourself, read this.
• We won’t be eating Chinese food because the virus started in China. I don’t like Chinese food anyway, so this isn’t a sacrifice.
• We will be eating more Mexican food because it uses a lot of hot peppers and the social media influencers say heat kills the virus.

Keep in mind that we are “elderly” people according to Vanity Fair, since we are both well past the age of 60. Seriously, don’t panic. Uses common sense, if you have any. It does seem that most Americans have lost their common sense and now rely on the government to protect them from themselves. Now is a good time for an inward inventory of yourself, and to explore the concept of personal accountability.

The best advice I can give you, comes from Ted & Bill’s Excellent Adventure

Be excellent to each other.